Monday, June 15, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
why make?
its funny, the self doubt and narcissism of being an artist. One must truly know the balance between the two. on one hand i am always pushing myself, knowing that i can do better, achieve more, work harder..yet on the other, i know that i try my hardest and deserve the praise i receive. Its not that i think that I'm the most amazing artist, I'm not. But i do know i have purpose. I know that i have a gift, and i can use that gift to do good. I have a voice and i want people to hear it-so why shouldn't i cry if they dont listen, why shouldn't i smile when they do. I guess, its strange because the low self esteem keeps me going and the high self esteem gives me the energy to keep going.
I don't want to be one of those artists who are really good at schmoozing their way to the top, who have money and clout to get them there. I want to make work that speaks for its self. Maybe i receive the name I deserve in the end. If i don't , at least may work will remain to tell the story i felt worth wasting a life way to make.
I don't want to be one of those artists who are really good at schmoozing their way to the top, who have money and clout to get them there. I want to make work that speaks for its self. Maybe i receive the name I deserve in the end. If i don't , at least may work will remain to tell the story i felt worth wasting a life way to make.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
lost utopias
Pit bulls, junkyards, abandoned lots and vacant homes are some of the reoccurring images in my painting and installation, which I consider semiotics of urbanity. I want my art to tell a story. The story, much like the old maids story has a moral, which runs though, yet is also full of morbidity, psychology and perversion. Some of my recent inspirations are early Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, and the Grimm Brothers collected fairy tales. I consider my works as a dialog with artists such as Red Grooms, Martha Rosler and Kiki Smith because these works are emotional, poetic and often political in nature. Whether I'm working in video or installation, these works are considered painting and drawing. Their formal traits take on ideals of composition, color, surface and content. In a way these works are direct results of the digesting of my immediate surroundings and my social concerns and are reference the drive to my studio, a news clipping or a nightmare.
In these works, I use color theory to convey meaning. My recent installation "... a better place" employs minimal local colors and shifts in scale, removing the viewer out of a physical/logical place and allow them to investigate the space as if it is a mirage of something that happened. The fragmentation of space, and absence of people lead the viewer to question what happened here? The titled represents the common graffiti memorial, which sprawls across northeast Philadelphia where I currently reside. It does not refer to the environment itself yet something better, a utopia yet to be discovered. In contrast, “this is my playground” is a cartoon like version of my neighborhood. It was a direct response to the ugliness I saw around me and how I strived to understand it, make something positive of it. The entire work is made from salvaged cardboard from the neighborhood its self. I literally made chain fencing, debris, and architecture from the salvaged cardboard and then spray painted it giving it a candy coating. In doing so I aim to see the city through a child’s eyes with a sense of optimism, much like Mr. Rogers sought to see his neighborhood. It is a way of cooping with our environment and creating a critical dialog around it.
In a way my work can be considered lost utopias, just as Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street are now lost utopias. Senses of longing and unattainable ambition charge these environments. The psychological is a string that binds my sculptures, painting and video works and asks the viewer to please be my neighbor.
In these works, I use color theory to convey meaning. My recent installation "... a better place" employs minimal local colors and shifts in scale, removing the viewer out of a physical/logical place and allow them to investigate the space as if it is a mirage of something that happened. The fragmentation of space, and absence of people lead the viewer to question what happened here? The titled represents the common graffiti memorial, which sprawls across northeast Philadelphia where I currently reside. It does not refer to the environment itself yet something better, a utopia yet to be discovered. In contrast, “this is my playground” is a cartoon like version of my neighborhood. It was a direct response to the ugliness I saw around me and how I strived to understand it, make something positive of it. The entire work is made from salvaged cardboard from the neighborhood its self. I literally made chain fencing, debris, and architecture from the salvaged cardboard and then spray painted it giving it a candy coating. In doing so I aim to see the city through a child’s eyes with a sense of optimism, much like Mr. Rogers sought to see his neighborhood. It is a way of cooping with our environment and creating a critical dialog around it.
In a way my work can be considered lost utopias, just as Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street are now lost utopias. Senses of longing and unattainable ambition charge these environments. The psychological is a string that binds my sculptures, painting and video works and asks the viewer to please be my neighbor.
Monday, May 4, 2009
why mr rogers didnt tell us
Just as the songs from Mr Rogers, my work embodies contradictory concepts of optimism and pessimism. It is hopeful yet implies a longing and ambition unattainable. There is however another quality to these songs, one which perhaps is only seen with willing eyes...that is of perversion or lust. It's not that I think Mr Rogers intended for these songs to be explicit in nature yet rather that ideology tells us to be suspicious of talk of liking someones insides, especially a child's. Actually, I aspire to be a Mr Rogers of sorts. Even if that means to create a utopia for escape from our daily lives. I used to think I could make a difference in life, bring social awareness, create a critical dialog. I used to paint figuratively, there was always a sense of optimism in painting the figure. It was as if humanity would live forever through these depictions and as if innocence was a constant. Now I simply do my best at being the best I could possibly be, just like Mr rogers used to say. But I can not help this feeling of impending doom. He spoke of race, class and gender..Why didn't Mr Rogers say anything about this?
I see my work as a way of understanding, digesting, coming to terms with these questions of existence, feminism, loniness, humanity and lack there of. There is often a moral at the end of my story, a moral which Mr. Rogers prepped me for but I, none the less, didnt expect.
I see my work as a way of understanding, digesting, coming to terms with these questions of existence, feminism, loniness, humanity and lack there of. There is often a moral at the end of my story, a moral which Mr. Rogers prepped me for but I, none the less, didnt expect.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
i like you, i really like you
It's such a good feeling to know you're alive.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
You are my friend
You are special
You are my friend
You're special to me.
You are the only one like you.
Like you, my friend, I like you.
In the daytime
In the nighttime
Any time that you feel's the right time
For a friendship with me, you see
F-R-I-E-N-D special
You are my friend
You're special to me.
There's only one in this wonderful world
You are special.
Some are fancy on the outside.
Some are fancy on the inside.
Boys are boys from the beginning.
Girls are girls right from the start.
Girls grow up to be the mommies.
Boys grow up be the daddies.
Everybody's fancy.
Everybody's fine.
Your body's fancy and so is mine.
I think you're a special person
And I like your ins and outsides.
Everbody's fancy.
Everybody's fine.
Your body's fancy and so is mine.
It's such a happy feeling: You're growing inside.
And when you wake up ready to say,
"I think I'll make a snappy new day."
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
Since we're together we might as well say:
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
You are my friend
You are special
You are my friend
You're special to me.
You are the only one like you.
Like you, my friend, I like you.
In the daytime
In the nighttime
Any time that you feel's the right time
For a friendship with me, you see
F-R-I-E-N-D special
You are my friend
You're special to me.
There's only one in this wonderful world
You are special.
Some are fancy on the outside.
Some are fancy on the inside.
Boys are boys from the beginning.
Girls are girls right from the start.
Girls grow up to be the mommies.
Boys grow up be the daddies.
Everybody's fancy.
Everybody's fine.
Your body's fancy and so is mine.
I think you're a special person
And I like your ins and outsides.
Everbody's fancy.
Everybody's fine.
Your body's fancy and so is mine.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
charlotte's wonderland
What is it about children's educational television of the 1970's which brings me so much joy? Is it how all the urban anomalies are transformed into lovable and understandable characters? take Oscar for instance, a homeless pessimistic grouch living in a garbage can who undoubtedly believes their is a conspiracy against him or his neighbor Snuffy who is crippled with depression and self doubt, these characters make the world around us understandable. In fact Sesame Street was originally targeted at underprivileged home schooled children. It is this way of processing and digesting our surroundings which I am so intrigued. In a way my work can be considered lost utopias, just as Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street are now lost utopias. A sense of longing and unattainable ambition charge these environments. In" ... a better place", the white wash signals that the environment is not a physical place but rather lies in the psychological. The abandonment of local colors allows the viewer to enter into a poetic and conceptual realm. The video series "Charlotte and Puppy Show" is made up of shorts featuring reoccurring characters such as the White Rabbit, Spot the Dog, and my ever myself. Sometimes I'm: a feminist, an optimist, a pessimist, a shaman, a narcissist, or a voyeur, all my alter egos. The psychological is a string that binds my sculptures, painting and video works and asks the viewer to please be my neighbor.
What Next?
As a graduating MFA I feel its time to share my experience with the void called cyber space. Likely my voice will echo thought the abyss without ever being heard.. which takes the pressure off.
I feel inclined to do the blog thing for a while to help cope with the newly found stresses of post institution ( the bubble called being a student) and to learn better articulation of my work.
The big question today and for the many following is " what next?" well, it may be highly idiotic in this economy .. but i really just want to fly by the seat of my pants. I need to live life for a while with no strings attached except the leash tried to my faithful dog and my true love around my arm. I suppose the rabbit and guineas could come along but three is just a better number. worst case scenario the whole family hits the road, its not like we haven't already traveled half way across the country with them before. it makes for great road entertainment. honestly though they likely can't handle the heat and will have to chill in the cool Midwestern AC with their extended fam.
so the game plan is simple. EVERYTHING MUST GO! we want to live light (except studio equipment) and head to the great state of Indiana. I will help Josh Rodenberg, my lovely husband, install a solo show at the New Harmony Gallery of Contemporary Art.
http://joshrodenberg.blogspot.com/
http://www.usi.edu/nhgallery/index2.asp
Then we will continue west to my birth land, Colorado. We have been invited to Matt Barton Artist residency in Colorado Springs which we are so excited about.
http://www.matthewryanbarton.com
Barton is an incredible installation artist whom works with taxidermy and kinetics. We will spend the month doing collaborations and being inspired by the milky way and Colorado wild flowers. After that we will do some good old camping and site seeing. Mt Rushmore is at the top of our list and perhaps Yellowstone.
After which we will return to the east coast to reside in Richmond for a year. My goal during the next year is to apply to as many grants, exhibitions and residencies as possible. My goal for five years form now is to have my very own something or 'nother... political puppet theater, children's television show knock off, artists commune, petting zoo/artists residency. So that's whats next....
I feel inclined to do the blog thing for a while to help cope with the newly found stresses of post institution ( the bubble called being a student) and to learn better articulation of my work.
The big question today and for the many following is " what next?" well, it may be highly idiotic in this economy .. but i really just want to fly by the seat of my pants. I need to live life for a while with no strings attached except the leash tried to my faithful dog and my true love around my arm. I suppose the rabbit and guineas could come along but three is just a better number. worst case scenario the whole family hits the road, its not like we haven't already traveled half way across the country with them before. it makes for great road entertainment. honestly though they likely can't handle the heat and will have to chill in the cool Midwestern AC with their extended fam.
so the game plan is simple. EVERYTHING MUST GO! we want to live light (except studio equipment) and head to the great state of Indiana. I will help Josh Rodenberg, my lovely husband, install a solo show at the New Harmony Gallery of Contemporary Art.
http://joshrodenberg.blogspot.com/
http://www.usi.edu/nhgallery/index2.asp
Then we will continue west to my birth land, Colorado. We have been invited to Matt Barton Artist residency in Colorado Springs which we are so excited about.
http://www.matthewryanbarton.com
Barton is an incredible installation artist whom works with taxidermy and kinetics. We will spend the month doing collaborations and being inspired by the milky way and Colorado wild flowers. After that we will do some good old camping and site seeing. Mt Rushmore is at the top of our list and perhaps Yellowstone.
After which we will return to the east coast to reside in Richmond for a year. My goal during the next year is to apply to as many grants, exhibitions and residencies as possible. My goal for five years form now is to have my very own something or 'nother... political puppet theater, children's television show knock off, artists commune, petting zoo/artists residency. So that's whats next....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
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